Technical definitions only take us so far
The World Health Organization states that infertility is a disease affecting female or male reproductive systems where pregnancy is not achieved after a year of trying to conceive through unprotected intercourse. This medical definition can be helpful in some situations, like trying to determine when a family doctor should refer a couple to a fertility specialist (reproductive endocrinologist). When looking at it therapeutically, this definition leaves a lot out.
A broad view of infertility
Here, in this space, we take a broader view. Infertility is the inability to have children easily without intervention. Infertility may have medical causes, like a disease, or it could be caused by many other factors. A same sex couple is experiencing infertility. A trans person may experience infertility. A person pursuing single parenthood by choice is experiencing infertility. A person or couple in the wake of the loss of a pregnancy or child is experiencing a type of infertility. In all of these cases and more, parents struggle to reach a reality where they are raising their children.
Not all journeys lead to the same place
For some, infertility leads to having living children. Sometimes this brings healing, and sometimes it shines a light into the cracks, and we need help to find healing. For some infertility ends without living children. Sometimes this is a choice that brings relief and healing, and sometimes the choice is taken from us, or the transition is not peaceful.
Mental health impacts of infertility
Regardless of the reason, infertility can be devastating. It can affect our relationships, our view of self, our hopes for the future, and many other aspects of our lives. These effects can be felt even after our journey to growing our families is complete. Whether we have living children or are childfree/childless not by choice, we may still feel the burden of our infertility. Seeking counselling can help us to find peace with our infertility, make meaning in our story, and work towards healing.
Phoenix in Flight Psychotherapy 